Old friends

Today I received a Facebook message from a friend who I haven’t spoken to in a very long time (at all for at least 2 year, properly for at least 5 years). I still remember when I was around 13 or 14 he was one of my closest friends. I was an angry, self-centered teenager who disliked my parents, the world and only cared about music and drama classes, and my close group of friends I had. Thinking about the person I was back then makes me cringe SO SO MUCH, but recalling all the times I spent with those people warms my heart.

Those were perhaps immature, angsty days, and I probably wasted too much time on my idea of romance and relationships when I should’ve been investing my time on my studies and things I was passionate about. However, they also formed important and great memories – spending after school hours sat next to the basketball court to watch my friends play; sitting in the corridors to listen to my girl friends’ stories about heartbreak; the mountains of text messages and MSN chat messages (wow that was a thing a while ago)…I kind of miss it. It’s the sort of thing that many teenagers go through, and I feel like they should – not rebelling against authority necessarily, but going through a time when they may think that their friends and relationship drama can be the end of the world, having friendships that they think can last a life-time – because soon after we all grow up and realise that people drift apart, and none of that really mattered in the grand scheme of things. It’s all a process of growing up. I’m not being bitter about friendships, it’s just a fact. Some of us are lucky enough that our best friends are still close to us, and of course it’s easier when you’re all in the same country, but for the most part, we all go to different places, do different things and meet new people; that’s just life. But I don’t think that we always have to be ‘in touch’ with our old friends or been have spoken to them consistently over the years to maintain a friendship. Or maybe I should phrase it like this: it’s okay that we’re not all that close anymore, some times it’s just nice to gather again and have a meal together…talk about what we’re doing now…etc.

I didn’t exactly fall out with this friend, but there was some drama between me and his girlfriend a few years back, so that compound with just life getting in the way, we ended up maybe meeting up (always as a big group) once a year or less. This was a friend whom I used to hang out with a lot after school and chatted with for hours-on-end because of something that happened between one of us and our crushes or BFs/GFs. This was a friend whom I waited in a cafe for for two hours whilst he was having ‘the talk’ with his crush. This was a friend whom was there for me and my then BF through the roughest times, because I was being a bitch. He tolerated my faults and gave me the most sincere, objective opinion. He was a friend who stuck up for me when his girlfriend disliked me at the time, because he knew that I didn’t mean to be harsh to her.

I remember that my friends and I would always send each other soppy messages because at the time it meant the world to us that these people were there supporting us; for a teenager that is the definition of loyalty, and what kept us going. Now, even though we barely talk to each other and it may even be a bit awkward at first when we meet again, even though the dynamic and relationships between the people are have changed, it’s still nice. It’s nice to know that once we were important to each other, and that we still some times think back on it and smile. Friends still mean a lot to me, and the fact that I got a random message today has filled my heart with joy. Yes I’m cheesy and I’m not sorry.

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