2016

Ghosting, emotional attachment and other issues was supposed to have a part 2, but once again I ended my post abruptly. I’m irrational and impulsive and emotional like that.

I actually wanted to do a review on Passengers, but just like the other two reviews I had planned a few weeks ago it’ll have to wait. As I begin writing this post, it’s 20:55 in Hong Kong on the last day of 2016, and I honestly cannot wait for 2017 to come already. 2016 hasn’t been the greatest year for me, though it’s not been too terrible either I guess…

Let’s list the good things first:

  • I got a job, within two weeks of searching, and I’m enjoying it. The pay’s not bad and the research projects are fun to do; it’s not what I want to do ultimately though.
  • I don’t have to worry about rent or bills because I live with my parents, and life isn’t too difficult in this city when you don’t need to worry about housing expense. Hong Kong can be very suffocating and stressful, but believe me it’s a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Well. That’s about it. Sure you can say that there are many things that I should or could be grateful for, and you’d be right, but these things didn’t really happen specifically this year or as a result of this year, necessarily. Oh, I passed my driving test on my first take!

Bad things:

  • We lost so many  great musicians and actors this year – David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince…and many more.
  • I had to leave the UK after having pretty much lived and studied there for 7 of my most important years of my life. It’s never easy moving to a new place, but it’s much worse knowing you didn’t make the choice, and worse when it’s out of your control, and there’s a very small chance that you’ll ever be able to move back. I grew up and matured in that country. My closest friends are in that country. Oh well.
  • It’s a shitty feeling when you feel like you’ve put a lot of effort into something just to end up going round in a circle – back where you began. I don’t actually mind being single very much, it’s the fact that I’ve had so many bad/boring dates and met so many shitty, unworthy people (both men and women) that disheartens me. It’s just tiring, you know? Actually what’s tiring is not the process of meeting people, it’s when you think that someone is different from those before, but they just end up being a dick anyway.

But perhaps the most important thing is that: whilst self-discipline or conscientiousness has never been my strongest suits, I’ve completely let it conquer me this past year.

  • I’ve exercised properly less than 20 times this year.
  • I’ve tried and failed at quitting smoking.
  • I’ve let my overthinking, frustrations and sadness completely over-exaggerate themselves and overwhelm me.
  • I allowed people to hurt me and disrespect me.

Just. I’m so mad at myself that I let these things happen. I want to be a better person. I set out goals in the beginning of the year, but I achieved very few; I made promises to myself, but I broke them.

I don’t think I’m gonna write new years resolutions this year, because I honestly can’t be bothered. I didn’t even have time to draw Christmas cards for my friends this year because I was so busy, I guess if there’s something I wish to achieve in 2017 it’d be to be happier

through becoming stronger emotionally

through becoming stronger physically

through finding love.

But if I may offer everyone, including myself, some advice:

  • I think it’s important for everyone to remember that it’s okay to take breaks.
  • It’s okay to not be okay. If you are feeling broken, feeling tired then take things at your pace. Don’t let others’ judgments and hurtful words and actions break you. Don’t force yourself to be happy or strong or productive. But try to get back up again.
  • Shit happens, but 90% of the time you can learn from it. That’s one good thing to take from a shitty situation. A lot of life depends on how you look at it and what you do in reaction to adverse situations. Some times life will be much better if you care less, some times life will be much better if you embrace it and take risks, but a lot of it also depends on many external and uncontrollable things, and chain of events.
  • Blame yourself less, and blame others less too.
  • We’re all going through something horrible, probably, so try to understand other people’s perspectives and forgive them.
  • We’re not alone! If you ever FEEL alone, talk to someone about it, don’t shut yourself away, that’s the worst thing you could do.
  • Drink lots of water, it cleanses and hydrates your body. When you’re in your 40s or 50s you’ll be thankful for it.
  • Smile, at your friends, family and loved ones, as well as to a stranger. It makes my day when I smile at a stranger and they smile back.
  • Do a random act of kindness – you never know if you’ll make someone’s day!

Lastly, enjoy your last day of 2016…Regardless of how this year went for you, I hope 2017 will be better. Happy New Year!

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